My plan is to have Aaron remove the clumsy hardware; put a new piece of crown molding across the top; and cut a new beadboard back for the upper part. (So handy to be married to an ex-carpenter!) Then I'll sand the thing down and paint it a gorgeous blue/green/gray that my mother-in-law helped me choose. She's also experienced at "antiquing" a piece, so I'll ask her advice on the final steps... which may include sanding and/or adding a hint of brown stain.
And yes, I will definitely be replacing the "Star Trek" style pulls with something a little more tasteful and traditional! I'll keep you posted on my progress, and post a photo of the finished project.